How a Man Shows Love is an excerpt from my book “Out of a Secret Darkness” and is posted in response to “How to Love a Man Without Being Sexual.”
Over the years, our father showed his daughters that a man will show his love for a woman by having sexual intercourse with her. And this was the abnormal mindset that I carried on into adulthood.
I thought the way to win a man’s heart was with sexual pleasure. I thought that pleasing him in a sexual manner made him fall in love with me. To me, this was the reality of how men were in general. I didn’t know that a man will not fall in love with or show his love for a woman by having sexual intercourse with her.
This dysfunctional mindset caused me to seek a man’s love in the wrong way for years. I didn’t feel desired, connected to or loved by a man unless we had sexual intercourse together. To me, when a man wanted to have sexual intercourse with me, it meant that he loved me.
This abnormal mindset didn’t serve me well in life. It took more than twenty years for me to understand how a man shows his love for a woman.
Asking the question “why do guys run away and hide?” lead me on a journey to understand men, dating, and relationships. I began to understand men, dating, and relationships after finding Joe Amoia at gpsforlove.com. Joe is a straight forward kind of guy. I can relate to his expressive style and the straight up advice he shares in his videos. I needed someone like him to tell me straight up, no bullshit. This is how it is with men, dating, and relationships.
Joe has been a blessing to me. I learned so much about men, dating, and healthy relationships from him. His quote “Take Some Mirror Time” was a godsend. This quote helped me learn to reflect back over past events from childhood. I began to recognize and understand how past events from childhood affected me in adult life.
I was beginning the journey of healing from child abuse and domestic violence. I continued blogging in order to let go of the past and embrace healing in the Lord. I decided to take his “Mirror Time” advice to a new level and write this book.
God always sends the right people into my life to help me. Joe is one of those people. I praise the Lord for his love, guidance, and support for life.
I cried tears of great pain when this abnormal mindset finally cleared up. It broke my heart to know that I wasted years of my life feeling unloved by men. But, like Joe always says, “it’s not a mistake if you learned something from it. Think of it as an expensive learning lesson”. I couldn’t agree more!