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Do you have a hard time letting go of emotional pain?

Is it difficult for you to overcome past hurts and move forward in life?

I understand the agony in letting go of emotional pain. I know the struggle in overcoming past hurts. I suffered child abuse, neglect and sexual abuse. My heart became filled with emotional pain after enduring domestic violence and losing children.

After years of adversity, I built an emotional wall around my heart. I pushed the emotional pain and memories of a disturbed past down deep inside.

I was strong!

I moved forward in life, or so I thought. Twenty years later the emotional pain and memories of an abusive past came rushing back to the surface.

Trying to forget about past hurts didn’t work, and pushing the emotional pain down inside prevented my heart from healing. I became bitter, cynical and anger filled my heart.

I struggled to be open and vulnerable in relationships. My relationships with men always ended in disaster. I tried dating but, men know when a woman’s heart is not open to love.

One guy sent me the URL address to the video “Come from the Heart” by Kathy Mattea. I listened to half the song, stopped the video and burst into tears.

Come from the Heart

He could tell the emotional walls were extremely high. He could tell my heart was closed to love.

I cried, “I don’t know how to let go!”

I thought I don’t know how to let go and move forward in life. I don’t know how to love as I’ll never get hurt. I always pick the wrong type of guy to love. I do end up getting hurt over and over again.

I did dance like nobody’s watching!

I want a relationship with trust, respect, and love. I just didn’t know how to open my heart to love again.

How do you open your heart to love again?

This song struck a chord within me. I needed to learn to let go!

 

Step 1 – Acknowledge Past Hurts

The first step is to acknowledge the past hurts.

You can’t heal what you don’t first acknowledge.

Kathy states it best, “You’re going to have to learn to let go.”

You’re going to have to learn to let go of the emotional pain associated with past hurts. I found writing to be very beneficial in the healing process. It’s helped me acknowledge the past hurts and heal emotional pain.

Writing or journaling allows you to work through emotional feelings healthily and helps you learn to let go. Writing helps release painful memories and unwelcome thoughts and emotional pain.

 

Step 2 – Forgiveness

The second step is learning to forgive yourself and others.

Past hurts will continue to affect your mind and bring your spirit down low.

Learning to let go requires forgiveness for you, poor choices and past mistakes. It requires forgiveness for others wrong doings too. In time, forgiveness frees your mind of painful memories and lift’s your spirits to a better place.

I built up anger towards others who hurt me. I used anger as a defense mechanism. It prevented me from dealing with issues. Focusing on anger helped me forget about the pain inside. I used anger as a coping mechanism.

These are ineffective ways of dealing with emotional pain and past hurts.

I’ve forgiven others for past hurts and wrong doings. Forgiveness allowed me to move forward in the healing process.

 

Step 3 – Let Your Light Shine

So now we go back to our second question.

How do you open your heart to love again?

To find the answer; listen to “Let Your Light Shine” by Keb’ Mo’.

Let Your Light Shine

To open your heart to love again, you need to “let your light shine” and “let your love show” where ever you go.

What are you gonna do “let the world go by in a corner all alone?”

This song is a reminder to keep letting your light shine. It reminds me not to sit in a corner all alone. It reminds me to step into the greatness God has created in me and not to be afraid to love again.

It’s a reminder to let your love show for all to see the glory of God.

Then when the rains come, and the winds blow, your love will still be shining bright. When everything is falling apart, you will still be able to give love from a healed heart.

2 thoughts to “How to Overcome Emotional Pain

  • Jamie Francis

    This is fantastic, Linda! Wow, you really know how to pour yourself into your writing! God has blessed you tremendously in that. This post really helped me. My past suffering was nothing like what you’ve been through, but your blog is certainly helpful to many situations. I was bullied repeatedly during my school years. Not physically. But I was tormented with verbal assaults to the point where I wanted to die. It was emotional and psychological torture for years. They made fun of me for having a big nose, which was shaped funny as well. Then, of course, they moved into other areas of malicious assault on my person. Only God’s grace has brought me to a place of healing and forgiveness. I am so sorry for what you’ve been through, Linda. But God is using your pain to further His Kingdom. I just said a prayer for you, dear sister. 😊

    Reply
    • Linda M Carleton

      Hi, Jamie! Thank you for reading and the kind words of encouragement. Also for the prayers. I’m grateful this post helped you. It’s sad you had to endure being tormented as a young adult. Young people don’t understand the real damage being done to a person during such torment. It takes the grace of God to heal such afflictions. It’s awesome to know you found His healing and forgiveness for others. God Bless Linda

      Reply

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