I’ve had my heart broken so many times that I stopped counting. In fact, I began to expect it would get broken again. It was only a matter of time. I was so abused and deeply hurt that those awful feelings were stuffed away inside. My heart became numb to feeling anything.
I ended up at a battered women’s shelter in a downtrodden state of health. In a short amount of time, another guy entered my life. Within two years we boarded a plane headed to San Francisco California in search of a better life.
At the time, I didn’t know that God was waiting to offer me an abundant life. We went to a city mission to receive a meal one evening. On that night, I chose to walk forward and accept Jesus as my personal savior.
The journey to healing my broken heart began.
The next day everything outside looked different to me. It was as though my eyes were seeing the world for the first time. I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit and calm peace inside.
In the months that followed, I began to learn more about the Word of God at a Salvation Army Church. Our son Nathan was almost two years old at the time. I chose the name Nathan because it means he gave. I believe Nathan was a gift from God to help heal a broken heart.
It was important for me to teach Nathan the proper way to live. I diligently taught him the Word of God. I took him to Boy Scouts every week so he would have good male role models to follow. I wanted him to become someone when he grew up. I wanted Nathan to have a better life.
When Nathan was ten years old, we moved to Virginia. I wasn’t crazy about moving out of state again. I didn’t want to live near Virginia Beach since it was a tourist area. I thought it would be difficult to gain employment.
The six-month trip to Virginia turned into a nightmare.
I couldn’t find work as a Certified Nurse Assistant since my certification and references were from New York. I took a Chamber Maid job at the Motel next door to earn some money.
I became angry at Nathan’s father for bringing us down to Virginia Beach. He didn’t listen to me or honor my judgment regarding the situation. I acted on that anger by staying out all night drinking with a guy that had been working at the Motel.
I didn’t even think twice about my actions.
To make the situation worse, he took Nathan to the beach without sunscreen. Nathan got second-degree sunburn all over his back and arms. I left him and moved into the Motel. I went back to New York a short time later. Nathan’s dad stayed in Virginia for a month before returning to New York.
I realized two or three months later that acting out in anger had dire consequences.
I was pregnant!
I didn’t even think about hiding the truth from anyone. I took responsibility for my actions, and nine months later Faith was born. I chose the name Faith to remind myself never lose faith in the Lord. I couldn’t forget if I always had to say the word.
I acted out in a moment of anger when I shouldn’t have.
I should have trusted that the Lord would provide for us and make a way when there was no way.
However, Faith has been a blessing to me and in the lives of everyone she befriends. And like her brother, I wanted her to become someone in life.
I diligently taught her the Word of God growing up. Bringing Faith up to becoming a young woman was a delight. Throughout the years she has brought joy and laughter into my life. Faith has also helped me over the years by being brutally honest.
Faith is smart, kind, loving, honest and straightforward with others. Faith recently graduated from High School with an Advanced Regents Diploma and with High Honors. She was awarded two College scholarships for the next three to four years. Faith will be attending College in the fall to study for a degree in Computer Science.
Her brother Nathan is a kind, thoughtful, honest and loving young man. Bringing him to Boy Scouts did pay off in the end. Nathan graduated from College two years ago with a degree in Environmental Science.
God healed my broken heart by entering my life.
He further healed my broken heart by blessing me with Nathan and Faith. The road to raising them wasn’t always easy. I praise the Lord for giving me the strength and ability to raise two wonderful young adults. I praise the Lord that the dysfunctional mindset from my parents was not handed down to my children.
I thank the Lord that my children will indeed have a better life as young adults and in the future. I couldn’t have done it without the Lord’s blessings and continuous help. The sorrows of the past have turned to joy.
If you’re going through a tough time and are in a downtrodden state of health. If your heart’s broken from past hurts and all hope seems lost. Fear not, the Lord can and will help you. Simply call out to him by faith and the Lord will do wonderful things for you too.