One night in a rage, my husband destroyed our wedding presents. The only wedding present he didn’t destroy was a very large elegant family Bible.
One day, several months later, I walked up the steps to my father’s apartment with the Bible in hand. My husband sent me to ask him to purchase the Bible so he could get money to buy drugs.
I knocked once and opened the door.
I saw my father sitting on the edge of his bed. He looked to be in poor health and was suffering from heart problems.
I went in and sat on the bed next to him.
He began telling me about his plans for his headstone. Then he showed me the drawings he made of his headstone. He wanted to have a guitar on his headstone with his name engraved beneath the guitar.
Planting the Seed of Faith
After a few minutes, I proceeded to ask him about purchasing the Bible from me. My father always had a way with words, and the words he spoke that day planted the seed of faith in me.
My father said,
“Linda, you can’t sell that Bible. It’s the only book that will save your life.”
At that moment, I thought why don’t you just give me some money for the Bible?
My father didn’t know that returning to my husband without any money would guarantee that he abuses me. I pleaded with him for a few minutes. He refused to purchase the Bible.
I became angry at him!
Anger was my defense mechanism. I became angry when I felt hurt or betrayed by those who are supposed to love me. I took my anger out on my father that day by speaking my mind.
The last words I had spoken to my father before he died were spoken in a moment of anger. I was hurting deep inside and wanted him to feel that hurt too.
I told my father,
“I remember what you did to me as a little girl that day in your bedroom. I will never forget what you did to me.”
Memories of Abuse
My earliest memory of child sexual abuse from my father happened when I was about five years old. I remember being afraid to be alone with him in his room and began to cry. I remember continuing to cry, and then waking up next to him still asleep.
When I woke up, neither of us had our underpants on and his private parts resting on the top part of my thigh. My father was still asleep when I woke up, got dressed and left his bedroom.
I remember waking up in the mornings on several occasions throughout childhood without any underpants on. My nightgown was always pulled up around my waist too. I never knew where they went or what happened to me in the night. It was an unexplained occurrence.
I walked out of his apartment and slammed the door.
I never saw my dad again after that day. He passed away several years later. I didn’t learn of his passing until much later in life.
However, I never forgot my father words. I remembered them because he made me feel hurt and angry. I didn’t know at the time, but my father gave me the best gift he could have possibly given his daughter.
He told me the truth, “It’s the only book that will save your life.”
My father planted a seed of faith in those moments of anger. He stood his ground and refused to purchase the Bible and to relieve my temporary burdens from me. Then he pointed me in the direction that I needed to go to save my life.
My father was not aware that my life would need saving in the future.
The Saving Grace of God
Several years later, after running in fear of my life, his words came to mind at a small city mission in Oakland, California. I listened to a sermon before the evening meal and decided to walk forward to receive Jesus Christ as my personal savior. The grace of God released the burdens of sin from me that night.
My father was right; once again, that Bible pointed me to the only one who could save my life.
The grace of God has allowed me to forgive my father for everything that has happened in the past.
Today, I understand that we all have flaws and have done things that hurt others. We are all sinners who need God saving grace to rescue us and to transform our lives.
Did someone plant the seed of faith your life?
If so, how and what happened?
Has the Bible saved your life?
I believe that my father found the Lord’s saving grace before he passed away. I believe he knew the truth and that allowed him to point me in the right direction in life.
My father didn’t get the headstone that he wanted to have. He is buried underneath a large tree in the center of the graveyard.
This is a picture of the large tree in the graveyard that my sister took in 2004.
It’s sad that our family was dysfunctional for so many years when that could have been avoided if we had only followed Jesus sooner in life.
This is a true story!
It declares the power of God to work in our lives and for his saving grace to rescue you and transform your life.
However, you must walk forward by faith, confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and willfully accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior. Then you shall be saved and God can begin to transform you and he will give you an abundant life.