Why My Mother Rejected Me and My Children

As a child and young adult, I could never understand why my mother rejected me and never showed her love towards me. She always seemed distant, callous and cold hearted.

In the summer months, she locked us children out of the house until late afternoon. She didn’t want to be bothered with us.

Often, I acted in anger for her lack of protection and love. She stopped doing her job. I resented her actions or lack thereof, and a deep hatred for her grew in my heart.

I began using hatred as a coping mechanism to ease the pain of feeling unloved. It was easier to feel hatred as opposed to acknowledging the pain of rejection.

After leaving home at eighteen and giving birth to my first child, Anthony, her rejection was passed onto my children too.

I remember being in the same Laundromat with her one day. We were both doing laundry on opposite sides of the room. Anthony was sitting in a stroller.

I went over to her and asked her; “don’t you even want to look at your grandson?”

My heart broke at her final act of rejection.

She never looked down at Anthony, not once did she acknowledge his presence. She never came to check on me. She never helped me, and now she rejected my son and her grandson.

Her rejection of him sealed my heart with hatred for her until the day she died. She had become a thorn in my heart. My mother was the one I could not forgive easily.

Why?

She was my mother.

She was supposed to love me.

She was supposed to protect me from harm.

I loved her deep down inside. I desperately wanted a mother to love me. She never did. She was only capable of pushing love away from her.

My mother’s lack of love and rejection affected me greatly. All of my adult life, I searched in vain to find love and acceptance. I learned to build up hatred in my heart when hurt or rejected and push love away from me.

I didn’t know about her struggles in life. I didn’t understand her pain and anguish until after her death. My mother kept her past a secret and never disclosed the contents of her heart.

My mother spent most her life pushing love away from her. She dealt with her past and abuse, her feelings of being unloved and rejected in her way.

Today, I understand by the grace of God.

My mother didn’t reject me. My mother was not capable of loving me. I’ve always been loved and never rejected or turned away. God has always loved me and never forsaken me. His love has cleansed my heart of hatred and enabled me to forgive my mother and the wrong doings of others.

Related Post: 

Why Doesn’t My Mom Love Me

3 thoughts on “Why My Mother Rejected Me and My Children”

  1. Linda, thank you so much for this very sincere expression of your testimony, but I would like to add my personal words of commentary to it. Like Lazarus, the Lord has called you out of a tomb of deadly sickness; but, unlike Lazarus who became a dynamic walking testimony to the transforming power of Jesus, you are still all bound up with the “strips” in which you were buried and your voice is being muffled by the “cloth” that covered your “dead” silent mouth. Read the account of his “calling” again in John 11:1-47, particularly verses 43-44. In your effort to share your testimony you need to be released from the “clothes” that bound you up and silenced your voice in your “tomb”. You don’t seem to be able to get free from them in many of the messages that you are posting on your blog. I really don’t think that many of the people in the audience for your blog are interested in reading about the “deadly” dysfunctional abuse that you have suffered. I think that I have indicated this to you before, but I apparently need to remind you that you should have a new focus for your testimony, the message that “The Lord is Calling” for you to deliver. This statement on my website regarding “God’s Work of Redemption” might help you and your readers to clearly understand the nature and importance of God’s call. It can be read from the link for “redemption” on my site at http://www.christianityetc.org. I’m praying for you every day.May the Lord lead and bless you in your ongoing ministry for your peace in your service and his glory in your testimony. Your friend, Bob

    1. Bob,

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment and pastoral guidance; it’s always appreciated. It is difficult, at times, to stop wallowing in the darkness of our past sufferings. It can become a daily struggle to fight off the fiery darts of the enemy. We have comfort and assurance in knowing that Jesus has overcome the world. I will continue to seek Him and His will. I’m learning the importance of staying in the Lord’s presence continuously.

      God Bless, Linda

  2. Linda,
    Thank you for posting my comment and your note of appreciation for it. I’m sure that you feel overwhelmed at times by the abuse that you have suffered, but the Lord has given you a great victory over it all. You have a great testimony to share with others, but the devil will constantly try to distract you in your efforts to do that. The Lord is present with you every day in the personal and special ministry to which he has called you. Just listen prayerfully to His Spirit as you prepare to write your testimonies, and He will bring your message into focus with the words that He wants you to use as you compose it. It is a great blessing to write with His anointing guidance. Keep up your good work. God is blessing you.
    Bob

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